Sigh of relief and pain of knowledge

I talked things over with Panther. And found out he had disguarded the idea of getting the new car before Feb. of next year. That's great news. We can deal with birthdays and Xmas now and have some money for it. That's very good.

Next comes the very bad. I saw on the news last night and this morning where they arrested an ex boyfriend for having child pornography on his computer. While we were together I tried taking care of his son like he was one of mine. But we broke up because the man was becoming such an jackhole. I tried to warn the son's teacher to keep an eye on the boy because of how the father was acting. It came to nothing. And now I feel terrible because the boy probably went through hell. And I wonder if my kids are ok. He did babysit for me a few times after we broke up because he still cared about them. Especially my son. I don't want to say anything to the kids because they were so little. But it's hurting me deeply. I guess it's another wound I get to carry around.

Now with this comes uncomfortable thoughts of 2 men I was with messed with children. Can I trust others? Is there something going on? How can I be sure other folks around my children are not gonna try something?